Jurassic Park (3D!)

I wasn’t actually sure if I wanted to add this to my 2013 Movie Rankings, since really this isn’t a new movie for 2013. But in the end, it is a movie and I did see it, so it seems worthwhile to post about. 😄


Oblivion surprised me. With all of the reviews I read ahead of time (io9, Escape to the Movies, Schlock Mercenary), I was expecting a pretty yet ultimately without depth, science fiction mystery/action piece1 What I got… was a pretty yet ultimately without much depth, science fiction mystery/action piece2

The Croods

I went into The Croods fully expecting the sort of banal, child-focused humor that all too often plagues such films (see Hotel Transylvania for a perfect example). Granted, The Croods is actually rated PG, so there’s at least a modicum of hope ((Although then again, so was Hotel Transylvania…)).

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

It’s not every day that you get such a perfect example of sequelitis.

Jack the Giant Slayer

It’s hard to count the number of things that went sideways in Jack the Giant Slayer.

Oz the Great and Powerful

Oz the Great and Powerful as a film is actually a pretty solid analogue for both the title character and all three of the witches: pretty, but just a bit 'off' and ultimately without depth.

Warm Bodies

I’m not sure that a year ago I would have ever thought that a zomromcom could possibly be a thing. There’s just something about zombies… Zombies are supposed to be mindless killing machines. They’re supposed to be an analogue for the darker aspects of mindless mobs, a swarming mass that protagonists can mow down by the dozen without feelings of remorse. They’re not supposed to fall in love.

Beautiful Creatures

Beautiful Creatures is everything that Twilight wishes it could have been.

Parental Guidance

Sometimes you just need to unwind and watch something on the sillier side of life. Parental Guidance is exactly that sort of movie.