I … managed to miss [[todo:Taskmaster: Series 17]] somehow. Anyways!

Another delightful season. This was a fun cast. Baba was full of chaos, Rosie got away with so much crap (sometimes literally) and her team tasks with Jack were such chaos. Andy has serious mad professor vibes (mostly the hair I suppose). Emma… Emma was my favorite.

Rosie having cerebral palsy certainly started out with a different flavor to the season. But man she has a sense of humor about the whole thing. I think it took Greg and the other contestants a minute to feel out how far to go (“Is it too early in the series to mention I DON’T have cerebral palsy?” - Emma)… but once they did, that was a lot of fun.

As you can tell by the way I talk, I suffer from being Northern. – Rosie

Overall, what do you want? I love this show. Another great season. Time to go back to 17!

Episode by episode:

1. The Faceless Facilitators

It’s actually been a while since I’ve watched the US crew. Weird that.

Prize Task: The best thing that has been inside you.

Well that varied wildly. I’m … not sure if I actually expected ‘boyfriend’ or not.

Task 1: Don’t say anything. (And do a bunch of other things.)

Getting to discover how they’re going to dress up for the first time. Emma in … detective garb? Andy in cricket whites.

Should be a season.

Also: So many seals. 😄

Task 2: Knock over 100 cans.

Baba: Bro. I didn’t do throwning in school.

😄

Emma: How do you summon skills that you don’t have? It’s actually so difficult!

Hey, she actually counted the balls! Cracking herself up about the yoga ball was delightful.

Emma: Is it too early in the series to say… I don’t have cerebral palsy?

Episode 1.

Task 3: Do the most beautfiful thing with bubbles?

Rosie: Can I get naked?

… wat?

voiceover with a French accent

Beauty and ze bubble. I am bubble. Am I beautiful? Tell me: what is beauty. I have dreams of what a sphere can become. But I know change changes change. And the world becomes new again. We create, though we destroy. We are destroyed; we were created. Life is in the unexpected.

TRY THE ORANGE

Though I know, as a bubble, things never stay the same. Things never change. We are all bubbles. Bubbles doomed to die. But our beauty lives forever.

That was delightfully weird.

Greg Davis: I don’t actually have anything negative to say.

Yup.

Emma: I am doing the most beautiful thing with bubbles. A beautiful babe having a bubble bath.

She’s… wearing her costume in that bath?

Greg Davis: I mean if the chocolate gobbling woman of non-descript nationality hadn’t been so drunk, she might have gotten more than two points.

Final task: Drink the vinegar.

Oh Rosie’s face.

Delightful.

2. … And Then a Detective Comes

It’s prize task time. AKA the actual start of the show.

Prize task: The most serious object… that looks quite silly.

Bonus task: Wear a special outfit on any future task. That task will count double.

Task 1: Memorize these people. Name them.

Yeah… I’d be terrible at that.

Task 2: Become the best multiheaded creature.

Smoothies.

Task 3: Do the most

Merry Christmas. I’m Mary and I’m having a baby!

(It’s Alex…)

Task 1b: Identify those fine people… again.

You sneaky little toerag.

Live task: Spin the wheel.

Spun.

Kind of … random.

3. The Gangsters of the Sea

Prize task: The object with the most soul.

Greg: Rosie, shall we start with you? Rosie: No. Greg: … It was rhetorical. We are starting with you.

And then… a Furby.

So yeah.

Task 1: Find the rocket.

Task 1b: If you draw, make, or write your own rocket, you must now put two rockets in your pockets. (Unless you are a rocket scientist.)

Task 1c: If you swear, you must now do three.

That was silly.

Rocket salad… was sillier.

Andy: Does the word ‘A’ mean nothing these days? Emma: You are A prick.

Task 2: Recreate a famous 2D art in 3D.

Andy: I just feel, among the many things this show doesn’t address… war’s right up there. Emma: Cow’s the wrong way round.

That was really quite impressive… especially for an art task. Those tend to go really sideways sometimes.

Task 3: Win the pub quiz. By cheaing.

That was chaotic.

I do love Sue Perkin’s answering machine message. 😄

Live task: First person to mark Mark, pat Pat, russel Russel, rob Rob, and fill Phil wins.

That was so chaotic. Delightfully so.

4. I’m a Girl That Likes a Clean Line

Prize task: Make Greg say ‘whoa, that is badass.’

Greg: Now that is a bad ass. … Greg: It’s a bad ass. And it’s badass.

Task 1: Push the envelope the furthest.

Rosie: I’m going to push the envelope … inside myself. Alex: What’s that mean? Rosie: I’m going to eat it.

Task 2: Take a bite of Alex’s carrotes. Alex will ring his bell every ten seconds.

So many Alexes. Alexi? Alexipods? Alex (both the singular and the plural).

Emma: They’re swapping bells. Swapping bells you bastards.

Oh that got creepy in a hurry.

Greg: Did you expect Baba, when you entered this show, that you would be chasing this man so that you could bite his carrot. While dressed as a hotdog. … And did you expect to be shouting ‘I’m the man!’ afterwards?

Well, creepy and also that.

Task 3: Pick the Taskmaster locket from Alex’s coat absolutely chock full of pockets. For each incorrect pocket, high five Alex.

Baba: It’s the bloody rocket.

😃

So many high fives.

And then…

Oh that’s delightful.

Emma: So I’m a girl that wants a clean line. … So whenever I’m going out, you don’t want shit in your pockets.

Well that you don’t.

Live task: Gather a heard of animals with exactly 22 legs. And then don your tutus for reasons.

There are animals with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 legs.

lol that ended so much faster than I bet they ever expected.

Oh Rosie’s face.

Greg: The show’s been great. But that was rubbish. … What a glorious anti-climax.

5. Big Stupid Things

Prize task: Add water.

I suppose a pool was obvious.

First task: Charge the robot. Give one instruction per ten seconds, ignore those contining certain letters.

So… a robot.

I would say you’re welcome… but those would be hollow hollow words.

Well.

(every ten seconds): Laugh! Laugh! Laugh!

Second task: Make the strongest smell in this jar.

I’m sorry for what I’m about to do…

Guess who 😄

They … did in fact have extra instructions on the outside of the task.

Alex Horne: We did run this task past lawyers and scientists.

The fact that one of the smells was bad enough they could smell it from their seats…

Greg Davis: Oh get fucked.

That is perhaps the best response to a task yet.

Third task: Present the most heart warming local news story.

Such wigs.

Live task: Launch a sky diver catapult.

Skill? Random luck? Awesomeness!

Tie breaker: How old will Alex be on Christmas Day 2024. Maintain eye contact; give one answer.

No, I’ve given up.

lol.

6. A Dance as Old as Time Itself

Prize task: The most fun thing to put in Alex’s pocket without him noticing.

I do appreciate that they actually did it. That’s a wacky looking jacket.

Quite a few ice cubes, so that eventually it will look like he pissed himself.

First task Put on fish in the frying pan.

Sounds simple.

… is that a train track?

The sounds of repeated screaming and ‘dottiest fish’ing was also lovely.

Totally called drawing one’s own dots.

Second task: Create a puppet sidekick for Alex.

Alex Horne’y.

Horse: Now you have to come up with a word that starts with C that describes me. Alex: … … … charismatic.

Oh my.

Alex: Welcome to the Horney Hour. … Could you lighten up a bit Pigeor? Pigeor: Go fux yourself, Alex Horne.

It gets better:

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall of the wall? I don’t know, why? Because he was a crack head.

That was a delightful mess.

Little Alex & Mr. Poo

That … was less delightful. Oh… I sorely hope that was chocolate pudding.

Third task: Defuse the robot. Cut all but the danger wire. Keep your gloves on.

Oh dude, I don’t know what none of this means. … Alex: You managed to only cut the danger wire.

lol.

The hidden ‘DANGER’ sign was pretty fun. There’s (almost) always a derpy easy clue.

Live task: Guess this person’s job, asking yes or no questions.

Do you chase people? No. Greg: We’ll come back to this afterwards.

…

Are you an obstetrician? No. Are you a gynecologist? Yes.

And the fact that the first question was Emma… Oh lol.

7. Captain Jackie and the Hotdog

Prize task: Object you’d most like to carry around the rest of your life (that is bigger than your head).

Your head, Greg.

Which I suppose is in fact bigger than her head.

Within the hat… is in built moisterizer.

I did not expect that.

I’m proudly dry. I’m a dry woman and I like to be moist.

First task: Ring the bell. Don’t look up.

Oh man, so many random falling things.

I wonder how long resetting these tasks take to reset…

Oh, that’s not traumatizing.

Door bell. A bell in the trailer. So many bells.

(Special task): You must lie throughout the next test.

Second task: Work out what is in the box (you must only make silent facial expressions).

I feel like there was some amount of cheating in this one. So very much chaos.

Half an hour and 116 guesses later… but if it works out in the end?

That’s quite a point spread though.

Third task: Eat and obey five fortune cookies.

Oh… those got kind of terrible.

Keep your mouth open for the rest of the task.

… chewing with their mouth open.

Not at all delightful.

Live task: Throw a beanbag onto the island without knocking over cans or missing the island.

… did Emma hit an audience member?

8. The Nexus of Turth

Prize task: The thing that most makes Greg scratch his chin.

Greg: Are you going to explain the paper plate? Baba: Nope.

(It get weirder)

First task: Put on the special glasses.

Alex: But it’s also time for an eye test. (cut to the lab with one of those eye doctor ‘number 1 or number 2’ machines) (Baba freezes)

Well.

Baba: I don’t know how to speak… what is this, French? (later)

Baba: Bang!

Second task: Be at the highest number barrel (multiple tasks).

Emma: Women are much more likely to orgasm if their feet are kept warm. Baba: What? … Alex: And you took them off?

So. Barrels.

Bab: Thing was rigged. Greg: It was rigged? Baba: It was racist.

Just move on from it. Talk about immortal lobsters instead.

Rosie: But I want lobers to live forever. Greg: That’s not how it works Rosie.

The absolute chaos of Emma was delightful.

And then revealing the final criteria at the end…

Third task: Label a part of your body, making a surprising noise, do something interesting with your legs.

Part 2: Do it again.

Part 3: Do it again.

Part 4: Do it again.

lol. Hope you wrote it all down.

Greg: The nexus of truth. Alex: It is not on urbandictionary.com. We’ve added it.

On the other hand, any time a rediculous bit of physical humor involves Alex (repeatedly) that’s a good time.

Emma: They would have been like… oh you’re an Elvis hot dog.

Live task (team!): Say the same word at the same time (Alex will give you a category) without repeating a word.

Okay Jack and Rosie were quite impressive this time around.

Both: LIVER!

A boy’s name.

Both: Alex/Mike! Bollocks!

And then sometimes.

Rosie: Where did fucking Gilbert come from? (next round) Rosie: Babatunde.

Man that one took a while.

Greg: Just to clarify, we’re going to do this… for the rest of time?

9. The Cookie Children

Prize task: The best item for keeping things in that isn’t a regular item for putting things in.

Rosie’s bra.

You know? It works.

First task: Walk exactly one furlong in 10 minutes. No technology except 3 five-second phone calls.

So… what exactly is a furlong then? And does receiving a call count as using technology?

I’m really quite impressed with Baba in this one.

Second task: Capture the most profound picture of a majestic nature … on a dirty thing.

That is toxic.

It is.

And also… art?

Third task: Place the balls in the gutter and gutter in the cow. (You must not use anything floppy.)

Yeah it’s padlocked actually. Alex: Oh that’s annoying. Thank you for that tone of surprise you gave us there.

And then of course, there’s the team of two being Rosie and Jack.

BABA. I’VE GOT FUCKING CEREBRAL PALSY.

That is suck a dynamic team.

Live task: Predict if each item will float or not float.

Greg: It’s a fake shake. Fuck you.

So much swearing in this show.

And for such reasonable reasons.

Alex: It’s just another egg Baba.

It was in fact just another egg.

10. Le Goose

Prize task: Most likely to make your buttocks clench.

Alex: Buttocks clenched and spincter closed. Nothing out nor in shall go.

I’m generally afraid of frogs. They are demons from Hell.

… guess who. I would not have.

Ranidaphobia. TIL.

Oh Jack. That was delightful.

Emma: I’m sorry about that, but how are your buttocks?

… Rosie wins.

Greg: You monster.

First task: How many chairs are in the cinema? (Give one answer, say no numbers, say the name of every object on screen, each number off will add one minute).

So… how many of them said ten minutes. (I guess the timer hadn’t started yet).

Rosie went through and touched every single chair.

Rosie: Three. (gasp) Alex: I didn’t quite hear that. Rosie (quietly): Hedgehogs.

And of course there’s a hidden answer, but man that was a tricky one.

Second task: Either through five fives in a row, do 100 push-ups, eat a raw onion, or sit silently for 10 minutes. You may only attempt two of these things.

Didn’t have to eat any nasty ass raw onions… (cuts to Rosie eating the onion after she dumps them)

Andy… added up to five pips on each face.

Emma: I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Alex gets cute and scared around Jack.

The haystack was delightfully cute though. And only Emma even considered it.

Emma is a lot of fun.

Third task: Present The Goose.

Baba: What. … Who comes up with this stuff bro?

That was a weird task.

Live task: When Greg says eyes down look down, when he says eyes up look at another contestant. If two constestants are looking at each other, you are eliminated.

That actually looks pretty fun. These live tasks are such chaos sometimes.

And so it ends. A good season!