Pirates of the Caribbean… without Bloom or Knightly? At least they still have Johnny Depp I suppose. And Barbossa–ish.

Easily the weakest of the series. It’s… fine, but it doesn’t have the absolutely bonkers charm of the earlier movies.

The good points:

• Penélope Cruz as Angelica is pretty great. Especially trying to impersonate Jack Sparrow.

  Angelica: You were the only pirate I thought I could pass for.

  Jack Sparrow: That is NOT a compliment.

• Ian McShane as Blackbeard is a delightful villain. I’d put him right up there with Blackbeard. And he’s got a great ship, as much a character as himself.

  Jack Sparrow: [after the mutiny is victorious] The ship is ours!

  Blackbeard: [comes out of his quarters and glares at Sparrow] Gentlemen. I be placed in a bewilderment. There I were, resting. And upon a sudden, I hear an ungodly row on deck. Sailors abandoning their posts, without orders, without leave. Men before the mast, taking the ship for themselves. What be that, First Mate?

  Angelica: Mutiny, Captain.

  Blackbeard: [holding his hand to his ear] Again?

  Angelica: Mutiny!

  Blackbeard: Aye, mutiny. And what fate befall mutineers? Now, we know the answer to that, do we not? Mutineers… HANG!

  [raises his enchanted sword, making the sails drop, and the rigging ensnare all the mutineers]

  Jack Sparrow: [hangs upside down in front of Blackbeard] Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names.

  Blackbeard: Perfect.

• The idea that the Spanish are after the Fountain of Youth to destroy it, because only God grants eternal life is a great moment.

The less great points:

• The whole scene running from King George towards the beginning is … a bit overdone. I love when Jack Sparrow is the epitome of chaos, but there’s a point that it just doesn’t work.

• The whole Preacher + mermaid love interest line… doesn’t really work. The mermaids are better as straight up monsters, in my opinion.

Overall… it’s fine? The first three were such great movies that I really was hoping for more, but it’s still an amusing watch.