Pirates of the Caribbean… without Bloom or Knightly? At least they still have Johnny Depp I suppose. And Barbossa–ish.
Easily the weakest of the series. It’s… fine, but it doesn’t have the absolutely bonkers charm of the earlier movies.
The good points:
Penélope Cruz as Angelica is pretty great. Especially trying to impersonate Jack Sparrow.
Angelica: You were the only pirate I thought I could pass for.
Jack Sparrow: That is NOT a compliment.
Ian McShane as Blackbeard is a delightful villain. I’d put him right up there with Blackbeard. And he’s got a great ship, as much a character as himself.
Jack Sparrow: [after the mutiny is victorious] The ship is ours!
Blackbeard: [comes out of his quarters and glares at Sparrow] Gentlemen. I be placed in a bewilderment. There I were, resting. And upon a sudden, I hear an ungodly row on deck. Sailors abandoning their posts, without orders, without leave. Men before the mast, taking the ship for themselves. What be that, First Mate?
Angelica: Mutiny, Captain.
Blackbeard: [holding his hand to his ear] Again?
Blackbeard: Aye, mutiny. And what fate befall mutineers? Now, we know the answer to that, do we not? Mutineers… HANG!
[raises his enchanted sword, making the sails drop, and the rigging ensnare all the mutineers]
Jack Sparrow: [hangs upside down in front of Blackbeard] Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names.
The idea that the Spanish are after the Fountain of Youth to destroy it, because only God grants eternal life is a great moment.
The less great points:
The whole scene running from King George towards the beginning is … a bit overdone. I love when Jack Sparrow is the epitome of chaos, but there’s a point that it just doesn’t work.
The whole Preacher + mermaid love interest line… doesn’t really work. The mermaids are better as straight up monsters, in my opinion.
Overall… it’s fine? The first three were such great movies that I really was hoping for more, but it’s still an amusing watch.
Ranked: 2022 Movie Reviews
- Spider-Man: No Way Home
- The Matrix Reloaded
- The Matrix
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
- Everything Everywhere All at Once
- Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
- Free Guy
- Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
- Thor: Love and Thunder
- Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens
- Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
- Underworld: Evolution
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
- Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
- Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
- Toy Story
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
- Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts
- Toy Story 2
- The Grinch
- The Star
- The Land Before Time